You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
