Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
