I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
