the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am spending my child support on dildos
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize