I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
