I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
