No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
