Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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