I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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