I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
