Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
