It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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