ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
