Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
