i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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