summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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