I think im going to throw up on grandma
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
