High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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