Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
