if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
