Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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