did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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