make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
