I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I need moral support for this bender
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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