so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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