I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
