Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
only you would photoshop your dick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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