i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
