Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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