I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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