We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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