The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
