So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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