You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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