I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's shark week go big or go home
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
