ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
