Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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