mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
