Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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