Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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