I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
