Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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