the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I deserve this hangover.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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