booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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