My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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