and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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