Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
