watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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