Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
