Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize