I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
