I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Pants are for mortals
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