He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
