She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
