How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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