Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
