im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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