too bad you live with your parents still
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
