my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize