Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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