I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
