WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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