Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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