so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize