it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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