She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
