Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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